Sta.sh
I think I've realized I have seasonal depression and need to get the fuck out of this town/state/country/world soon. If humans are going to disappoint me, hell... I might as well do it where I can bounce right back. This weather grants me nothing. I have no peace of mind nor inspiration. The sun and moon are the only constants aside from my physical and emotional being. I'm not going to let this shitty place be my prison or my grave. Hell like I'm going to let myself get stuck here like everyone else.
I was born in Florida. Naturally, I guess I'm supposed to love the sun and "surf." I love them both, I do, but that's not where I want to be. Once, I had a dream I was a giant and climbed over a green mountain. On the other side of the mountain, I shrunk back down to normal and was in a chest-high sea of some golden grass... maybe wheat. The sky was an intense blue with wispy clouds. I guess the best way of describing it is if you watch Gurren Lagann and pay attention to the way the sky is drawn in certain scenes. I truly felt free right then... like if I started running, I would feel like I was flying. I do get that sensation sometimes, but that might be because thinking about it makes my heart have spasms and my feet go along with it. Needless to say, it was magnificent and I want to be there. I'm sure I'll come across a place someday that suits my fancy better. It really makes me just want to take a car and head northwest until I run out of gas or sanity... whichever comes first.
The first arc of my journey is almost complete. What I thought was a struggle has turned into just that: a journey. Here I am, there I will be. This too shall pass. I've learned that to control my fiery defiance, I need to let my less ambitious, collected side take over. That's not easy to do by myself and that is why I've discovered several things are a means of setting that free. I'm sure you can guess. Music, singing, drawing, etc. I'm aesthetic. These things come to me naturally, yet I still have troubles with these and that is probably why I still continue to be a little bastard sometimes. Heh.
Eventually, I wish that where I walk, the person I was will stay in that place and I will continue advancing. No one's given me a chance, so I have to take one. The end of this school year is my release and I'm seizing it. All that oppose me will be struck down.
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